Ah, fall. Lovely time of year. Trees turn red, the air turns crisp. Halloween decor already in the aisles. It’s also that time of year when the Yankees, Jets, Knicks and their Big Apple brethren once again disappoint their massive fan bases despite their massive payrolls.

The Yankees have one title over the past 23-plus years. The Knicks haven’t won one since 1973. The Mets haven’t won the World Series since Bill Buckner. And don’t get us started on the Jets. Two generations have gone by since Broadway Joe Namath shocked the Baltimore Colts after his big upset prediction (and it probably wasn’t that big of an upset in hindsight). The Nets have never won a ring.

We’ll give the Giants most of the credit in this Big Apple beatdown. They beat Tom Brady twice in five seasons (2008 and 2012), but they’ve only won a single playoff game in the 12 seasons since then.

(OK, nitpickers, we do realize the Jets and Giants play their home games at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, N.J. It’s only a short drive to New York, and does anyone really consider them New Jersey NFL teams?)

And let’s not forget about hockey. The NY malaise extends there, too. The Rangers haven’t won the Stanley Cup since 1994, the Islanders since 1983.

Let’s qualify what we mean by ‘suck.’ Sure, being a Yankees fan is a lot more fun than being a Pirates fan. The Bombers have missed the playoffs only four times in the past 23 years and have been to three World Series, winning one of them.

Yes, the Knicks have improved, and the Nets have had a few spurts of playoff success. The Mets have lost a couple of World Series since ’86.

Sorry, but since the Yankees fielded one of the greatest dynasties in MLB history — Derek Jeter & co. won four titles in five years — the Bombers have spent an S-load of dough on a S-load of free agents with only one title to show for it.

Hideki Matsui, Randy Johnson, Jose Contreras, Gary Sheffield, Carlos Beltran, AJ Burnett, Mike Mussina, Jason Giambi, CC Sabathia, Mark Teixeira, Alex Rodriguez, Kevin Brown. These are just some of the dudes the Steinbrenners threw wads of cash at for not a ton in return. Yes, A-Rod did win help the pinstripes win the 2006 World Series, but was that worth $275 million for 10 years? Maybe?

At least the Yankees give their fans some hope when the postseason rolls around. Jets fans don’t have that luxury. This team hasn’t suited up for a playoff game since 2010. Realizing that Mark Sanchez has been your second-most successful playoff QB probably isn’t a glorious thing to look back on.

Since Namath, the Jets have fielded one of the worst quarterback rooms in the NFL: Richard Todd, Ken O’Brien, a washed Boomer Esiason, Vinny Testaverde, Chad Pennington, Sanchez, Geno Smith, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Sam Darnold, Zach Wilson.

And that list doesn’t even include these illustrious and thankfully short-lived experiments: Matt Robinson, Pat Ryan, Browning Nagle, Frank Reich, Neil O’Donnell, Ray Lucas, Brooks Bollinger, a (fairly) washed Brett Favre and Josh McCown. Seriously?

Aaron Rodgers was supposed to be the savior last season, but he couldn’t even last one series before tearing his Achilles’.

The Knicks. Why is this franchise elevated so much in the public eye? It’s like everyone is waiting for them to take their rightful place in the NBA pantheon alongside the Lakers and Celtics. OK, we get it. Madison Square Garden. Urban New York hoops. New York. New York. Got it.

But aside from fielding an amazing roster that won two titles in the early ’70s — Walt Frazier, Bill Bradley, Earl Monroe, Willis Reed, Henry Bibby, Phil Jackson, Dave DeBusschere — this franchise has rarely been a force.

Patrick Ewing, Carmelo Anthony, Charles Oakley, Bob McAdoo, Latrell Sprewell, Stephon Marbury. Excellent players all, but they couldn’t deliver a ring. In the James Dolan era since 2000, the Knicks have won three playoff series.

We’ll say one thing for the Mets. They are true feast or famine. In their 62 years of existence, they’ve been to the playoffs only 10 times, but in half of those they reached the World Series. But aside from the Miracle Mets of ’69 and the Miracle 2.0 Mets of ’86, this team has won only three playoff series in the past 23-plus seasons.

Over the past quarter-century, New York teams have been vastly outpaced by other metros. The San Francisco Giants won three World Series in five years and the Golden State Warriors have won four titles over the past 10 years. The 49ers have lost three Super Bowls and three NFC Championship games in the past 13 years.

The Boston Red Sox have won four World Series since exorcising the Curse of the Bambino in 2004, Tom Brady led the New England Patriots to six Super Bowl wins from 2002-2019 and the Celtics have won a couple of rings.

LA has a few feathers in its smoggy cap: the Dodgers won the WS in 2020, the Rams won the Super Bowl in 2022 and the Lakers have six rings since 2000.

The prognosis? Mixed. The Yanks will enter the postseason with two of the best power hitters in Aaron Judge and Juan Soto. The Jets hope Rodgers can return and be the playoff QB he was a decade and a half ago. The Knicks have a solid core but seem to be a missing piece or two to really challenge the Celtics in the East. The Giants are hoping Daniel Jones will find his inner ‘Danny Dimes’ again. The Mets could grab a NL wild card spot, the Nets will probably be just the Nets again next season.

Unfortunately for New Yorkers, the likelihood is the streets of New York probably won’t be seeing a whole of victory parades any time soon.