Welcome back to another fiery edition of Hot Garbage’s “Trash Coach of the Week,” where we single out the coaches who somehow manage to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. This week, the dubious honor goes to Sean Payton, the so-called offensive genius who was supposed to rescue the Denver Broncos from their perpetual state of mediocrity. Instead, Payton has led them into an even darker pit of despair, all while collecting a massive paycheck that suggests he should know better.

The ‘Savior’ Who Can’t Stop the Bleeding

When Payton left his cushy broadcasting gig to return to coaching, the narrative was set: He would be the savior and turn Russell Wilson’s disastrous 2022 season around and make the Broncos relevant again. The hype around Payton’s arrival was enormous, with fans and analysts alike expecting Denver to be playoff contenders overnight. This man had turned Drew Brees into a Hall of Famer, had led the New Orleans Saints to a Super Bowl title, and spent years being lauded as one of the best offensive minds in football.

Fast forward to the present, and the reality couldn’t be further from the fantasy. Wilson is now in Pittsburgh after a messy divorce in 2023, and the Broncos are 11-12 overall under Payton. The offense stinks, and their fans wondering if they’re watching a poorly written sequel to last season’s disaster.

It seems like you can take Sean Payton out of New Orleans, but you can’t take the stink of failure out of the Broncos.

Where’s the Offensive Genius?

Payton, a so-called quarterback whisperer, this season has thrown rookie Bo Nix into the fire with predictable results. The former Oregon star is ranked 23rd in passing yards, has only 5 TD passes to go with 5 interceptions, and is 29th with a putrid 5.5 yards per attempt.

As a group, the Broncos are 25th in offensive yards gained and are scoring less than 20 points per game. And primarily, Denver is 3-3 and hardly look like the playoff-bound team most had expected.

Let’s get one thing straight: Payton was brought in for his offensive brilliance. The Broncos’ offense in 2022 was a dumpster fire under Nathaniel Hackett, and Payton was supposed to fix that. He was expected to unlock whatever was left of Russell Wilson’s talent and bring balance, creativity, and success to Denver’s attack. Instead, Payton has given us a stale, uninspired offense that looks like it’s stuck in neutral—if not reverse.

In a league where offenses are evolving faster than ever, Payton’s play-calling feels outdated and predictable. The creativity that once defined his time in New Orleans seems to have vanished. The Broncos’ offense has been lifeless, with Bo Nix struggling to connect on basic throws, the run game going nowhere, and the play designs doing little to confuse defenses. Remember when Payton was supposed to be an offensive mastermind? Now, it feels like he’s just throwing spaghetti at the wall, hoping something will stick.

Excuses Won’t Save You, Sean

We all know Payton has never been short on confidence or, let’s be honest, arrogance. He’s the guy who publicly criticized Nathaniel Hackett, calling Hackett’s coaching one of the worst jobs in NFL history. Well, Sean, congratulations—you’re doing a stellar job proving that even you can’t stop the Broncos from being trash.

It’s not just the mediocrity—it’s how Payton handles it. Instead of owning up to his own shortcomings, he’s leaning on excuses and deflecting blame. Whatever the problems are, Payton has an explanation for everything, except the one that matters: his own inability to deliver on the hype that surrounded him.

The $18 Million Man

Let’s not forget that the Broncos are paying Payton a cool $18 million per year. For that kind of money, you’d expect immediate results, right? Instead, it feels like the Broncos have been scammed. Payton hasn’t just failed to turn the team around—he’s made them look even worse than they did before. You have to wonder if Payton’s contract will go down as one of the worst coaching investments in NFL history.

Bonus Content: Netflix Documentary

Did you know Netflix made a documentary (if you can call it that) about this douche’s time off (after being suspended) called “Home Team?” Payton is played by Kevin James and Jacob from ‘Twilight’ trying to test his acting chops in this mess of an idea. I can probably save 90 minutes of your life by summarizing the critics reviews: it is a dumpster fire of a movie dripping with cheese and a whole lot of vomit. The 90 second trailer below should be enough to make you spit up a little in your mouth and then you can move on with your life.

Congratulations, Coach

So, why is Sean Payton our Trash Coach of the Week? Because he’s turned one of the NFL’s most hyped offseason moves into a catastrophe. He was supposed to be the savior, the man who would restore glory to the Broncos. Instead, he’s presiding over one of the worst offenses in the NFL in an AFC conference that includes a lot of big boys that will kick sand in Denver’s face like the bully on the beach — Chiefs, Ravens, Bengals, maybe even Jim Harbaugh and the Chargers.

Congratulations, Sean Payton—you’ve truly earned this honor. Maybe you should’ve stayed in the broadcast booth, because right now, your coaching is nothing but Hot Garbage.

Fade Sean Payton