If you blinked, you may have missed the first third of the NFL season evaporating before your eyes. Just like that, it’s Week 6, and your fantasy team is no better than it was on the day you drafted it. Despite the collective amnesia we all seem to feel as sports fans, there does seem to be something particularly chaotic about the 2024 season. Now that bye weeks have started, tinkering with your roster has never been more important. Injuries have taken down some of the most talented players in the sport, and teams we thought might be good have absolutely sucked ass (See: Cincinnati Bengals). Somewhere in the German countryside, Christian McCaffrey is having some illegal medicine pumped into his legs to fix the Achilles tendons that seemingly disintegrated into tissue paper over the summer. Breece Hall forgot how to play football, and you can almost hear a Dolphins wide receiver crying out in the night. The top tier of fantasy draft boards has been demolished and neutralized, which is why you come here to find the players that have been cast aside but can potentially save your otherwise garbage roster. Let’s dig in.

Tank Bigsby, RB, Jacksonville Jaguars

Some people like to think of fantasy football like trading stocks. The old adage “Buy low, sell high” is a common refrain for the uninitiated who think they can reason their way to a championship. Sadly for these people, fantasy football more closely resembles a group of toddlers trying to make a soufflé than a Wall Street trading floor. That is why I am telling anyone who will listen to pick Tank Bigsby off the scrap heap and insert him into their starting lineups ASAP. Over the past two weeks, Bigsby has rushed for 273 yards on 24 carries, including a two-touchdown performance against the Colts last week en route to the Jaguars’ first win of the season. The presumed bell cow back for Jacksonville, Travis Etienne, has seen his usage drop over the past few weeks and is nursing a shoulder injury that has slowed him down considerably. Bigsby has looked more dynamic and quicker than the former first-round pick in his increased role, and I don’t expect that to change anytime soon. Coach Doug Pederson has made it clear that Etienne is the number one back on this Jaguars squad, but as a general rule, coaches are never to be trusted, especially if that coach is a grown man wearing a visor. The Jaguars head to their second home in London to take on the Bears this week, and Bigsby will almost assuredly play a huge role in that game.

Aaron Rodgers, QB, New York Jets

I know what you’re thinking—this old ass? Yes. This old ass. I don’t think it is much of a secret that erstwhile Jets head coach Robert Saleh and Rodgers did not have the best relationship. A handful of awkward sideline interactions and contradictory messages through the media allowed many football fans to imagine a toxic work environment festering in Florham Park. Well, one of those men is unemployed, and the other is set to take on the floundering Buffalo Bills on Monday night. Not only is the clueless Saleh out of a job, but so too is insufferable idiot Nathaniel Hackett, who was stripped of his play-calling duties shortly after Saleh’s dismissal. I don’t think a single human being has watched a football game called by Hackett and thought to themselves, “That was a well-run and intelligent game plan.” The reason being is that Nathaniel Hackett is a moron who doesn’t know how to run an offense. Now that quarterbacks coach Todd Downing will be in control of the play sheet and defensive coordinator Jeff Ulbrich has been promoted to head coach, the Jets (on paper) should be a much better football team on both sides of the ball. They have to be, right? The proverbial ‘new coach bump’ has been proven out countless times over the years, and there is no way that the Jets can look any worse than they have the last two weeks. I choose to believe these things because, as Alexander Hamilton said, “Those who stand for nothing will fall for anything” (or something like that). The Jets are in a must-win spot with a new coach in a division matchup in primetime. This is now or never. I’d rather grab Rodgers out of the trash now before he burns the Bills for 400+ yards and 3 TDs than be a week too late.

Quentin Johnston, WR, Los Angeles Chargers

The fantasy football community has a very short memory. Nowhere is that short memory more clearly on display than in the widespread disposal of Quentin Johnston this week. Following Week 3, the Chargers were 2-1, the toast of the town, and Johnston was the next great breakout star. Fast forward three weeks, and all of the goodwill has vanished. After scoring three times in two games, Johnston recorded only 1 catch in what was an all-time boring loss to Kansas City the last time the Chargers took the field. Justin Herbert, hobbled by a high-ankle sprain and thwarted by a brutal Chiefs pass rush, was unable to get anything going through the air. Then the Chargers had their very early Week 5 bye, and the football world writ large forgot they existed. They forgot that Herbert has a laser rocket arm and Johnston is his favorite target. They forgot that the Chargers are coached by Jim Harbaugh and will play the Broncos, Cardinals, Saints, Browns, and Titans in the next five weeks—a carousel of mediocrity. Not only will the Chargers be healthier and fast coming out of the bye, but Johnston is going to see the bulk of the targets in the passing game. Don’t be one of the airheads that forgot football happened in September and scoop Quentin out of the litter box before he scores twice on Sunday and reminds everyone that the Chargers are back.