At this point in the season, bookmakers making the New York Jets favorites against any other professional football team feels like a sick joke. Somehow, the 2-6 Jets, who on a weekly basis find new ways to embarrass themselves and their fan base, are 1.5-point favorites against the 6-2 Texans on Thursday Night Football. It should seem inexplicable to anybody with eyeballs that the Jets are poised to do anything besides piss down their own legs when the ball is kicked off on Thursday night. Their quarterback is an aging conspiracy theorist, their running game is non-existent, and the addition of Davante Adams somehow did not magically fix the discipline issues that have made them the most penalized team in the NFL. Couple that with the fact that their defense has taken several gigantic steps backward, and anybody who is betting on the Jets to win a football game in the foreseeable future should have their assets seized and children taken from them. The genius decision-makers for the Jets thought they’d excite fans and spectators alike by featuring all-black uniforms for Halloween night! Awesome! Following their “classic jersey” announcement from a few weeks ago, that makes two more rebranding efforts than playoff appearances in the past 13 years. The Jets are an embarrassment to the game of football, and anybody falling for cheap publicity stunts should be tested for a learning disability.

On the other side of that spectrum is the Houston Texans, who seem to be the antithesis of everything the Jets stand for over the past two seasons. They’ve drafted well, are well-coached, and seem to be getting better rather than worse. Currently sitting firmly atop the AFC South standings, the Texans are looking to extend their division lead and cement themselves as legitimate Super Bowl contenders. They will be without both of their top receivers Thursday night, with Nico Collins still nursing a leg injury and Stefon Diggs suffering a season-ending ACL tear last week against the Colts. Houston will need the often-invisible Tank Dell and John Metchie to step up in their absence, which should not be much of an issue against a porous Jets defense. The wild card, believe it or not, will be reigning Offensive Rookie of the Year, C.J. Stroud, who has put on a bit of a Jekyll-and-Hyde act in the first part of this 2024 season. Stroud has failed to throw more touchdowns than interceptions in three of the team’s eight games this year and totaled an eye-watering 86 total yards in a Week 7 loss to the Packers. Stroud will also look to vanquish the demons that enveloped him last year when the Jets absolutely overwhelmed him and the Texans to the tune of a 30-6 loss in December 2023. Stroud left that game early after getting bombarded by the Jets’ pass rush, getting sacked four times and throwing for only 91 yards. The good news is the Jets’ run defense has gotten much worse, and the Texans’ rushing attack has gotten much better over that time, which should take much of the pressure off Stroud to be the hero. The addition of Joe Mixon in the offseason has been an absolute godsend for Houston. The 28-year-old back has amassed 503 yards on the ground and five touchdowns in just five games played this year. Mixon is averaging 100 rushing yards per game and will likely be salivating at the chance to face a Jets rush defense that ranks in the bottom half of the league.

The stakes are pretty simple in this game: The Jets are a league-wide embarrassment, and losing to them, even on a short week, would lead to questions about how serious the Texans are about competing for a Lombardi Trophy. If the Jets win, they may have a one-week respite from every morning show and podcast ripping their organization to shreds, but it will not fundamentally change the fact that they are losers playing losing football. If the Texans win, they did exactly what they were supposed to do, and the Jets will slip further into oblivion and continue one of the most disappointing seasons in the history of a franchise that specializes in being disappointing. What a treat!

The Bet I Like the Most

The Jets defense leaks like a sieve. Sure, they have been banged up in the secondary, and Sauce Gardner has seemed out of sorts so far this year, but the real issue is the run defense. The Jets are incapable of stopping the run. It doesn’t matter who they play; they just cannot figure it out. Joe Mixon is running the ball as well as anyone, and there is simply no reason to think that will change this week. Take Mixon’s rushing yards over.

A Bet for Jets Fans

Davante Adams has to score one of these days, doesn’t he? He clearly hates the Jets as much as the rest of us, and I think Aaron Rodgers will want to get him involved as much as possible, especially in the red zone. Look for Adams to score his first touchdown in the Green and White. Or Green and Black. Whatever; who cares? I don’t think he will care much either, to tell you the truth.

A Bet for Texans Fans

Just take the Texans to win this game. Any team at plus money against this Jets team should be considered a gift from above. Even if it miraculously loses, you can feel comfortable in the fact that you took the side that is not “The Jets winning a football game.”