LIVE RESULTS UPDATE

Well Mike Tyson looked every bit of a 58 year-old fighting a boxer half his age. Jake Paul wins by unanimous decision going the full 8 rounds. Everyone wanted to see the old Mike Tyson come out and throw some power punches and KO an annoying influencer after they watch all that 80s footage but other than the first round, Tyson just looked old and a ghost of his former self and I don’t blame him whatsoever. Sure Jake Paul started out as a YouTube star but he’s had real action and training over the last couple of years. Good try Mike, bonus you at got in good shape for this bout and we got that live ass shot.

Intro

Tonight, boxing steps away from the serious business of technique, grit, and talent for a special edition of Celebrity Showdown, with Jake Paul, the Internet’s loudest troll, taking on Mike Tyson, the baddest man on the planet and the punch machine who knocked out half the ‘80s. If you’re expecting a polished athletic contest, please lower your expectations immediately. This is about showmanship, pay-per-view buys, and what happens when you mix a millennial social media superstar with a heavyweight legend who once struck fear into the souls of grown men. Let’s dive into this beautiful mess of a matchup.

Who Are We Watching, and Why?

First, a quick reminder: Jake Paul is not a real boxer. Sure, he’s technically 10-1, but the “1” in this record is more notable than any of his 10 wins. He’s mostly fought ex-MMA guys whose best punch was long retired. He’s also a guy who made his name online by pulling pranks, starting beef with anyone who’d respond, and now, apparently, by picking fights with people who can destroy him.

On the other side, we have Mike Tyson. Yes, that Mike Tyson. Tyson is 58, but he’s still, well, Mike Tyson. He became the youngest heavyweight champion ever at 20, demolishing grown men before they even knew what happened. Tyson’s punch was so devastating that people still use it as a benchmark for raw power. Does he still have that? Probably not, but it’s Mike Freakin’ Tyson. That power never fully goes away, even if it’s a little slower.

Tale of the Tape: Kid vs. Legend

Here’s the rundown: Jake Paul, aka “The Problem Child,” is in his late 20s, full of obnoxious energy, and convinced he’s the future of boxing. Standing at 6’1” and around 227 lbs, he’s got some size, which is basically his only “threat” here. His strategy for this match? Avoid dying.

Mike Tyson, “Iron Mike,” comes in at 5’10”, weighing just over 228 lbs. He’s got decades of experience, a jaw-dropping highlight reel, and enough muscle memory to teach Paul a painful lesson or two. The question on everyone’s mind: Can Tyson, at nearly 60, still deliver enough to shut Jake up?

Rules That Seem Custom-Built to Keep Jake Alive

The setup of this fight isn’t exactly helping Tyson’s case. For one, they’re using 14-ounce gloves—basically pillows in the boxing world—to soften any blow Tyson might land. And then, there are two-minute rounds rather than the standard three. If it sounds like they’re trying to minimize Tyson’s power and keep him from knocking Jake into next week, well, you’re probably right. With Tyson’s age and Paul’s ego at stake, it’s safe to say the organizers wanted to keep things as safe (and sellable) as possible.

In short, Jake’s plan is clear: dance around the ring, avoid Tyson’s fists, and maybe take a few swings if Tyson’s distracted. With any luck, he’ll drag it out long enough to claim a decision victory, even if his punches land with all the strength of a pillow fight.

Why Are We Watching?

Let’s be honest: nobody’s here to see a technical masterpiece. This is a reality-TV style spectacle, where you tune in not to marvel at boxing skill but to see if Tyson’s infamous scowl can break Paul’s bravado. It’s a fight for the ages—if, by ages, you mean “whoever needs to feel validated by their Twitter followers.”

Plus, in a world where we’re constantly distracted, sometimes you just need a good old-fashioned freak show. Tyson’s looking to remind people of his power, even if he can only bring it in bursts, while Paul is hoping to come out of this looking like something other than a viral video in the making.

The Strategies: AKA “Tyson, Please Punch Him Just Once”

For Jake Paul: He’ll likely be running, dodging, and doing anything short of calling timeout just to stay away from Tyson’s fists. His best shot at “winning” is to avoid getting knocked out and do just enough jabbing to sway the judges. If Paul lands anything significant, it’s probably by accident.

For Mike Tyson: It’s all about that one punch. Tyson’s strategy is likely to catch Jake in a corner, let one of those famously brutal hooks fly, and maybe—just maybe—end this spectacle in one beautiful moment of righteous knockout glory. Tyson’s endurance might not be there, but his goal is to leave an impression before the gas runs out.

The Real Matchups: What We’re Really Paying For

Somewhere on the undercard, you’ll actually find Katie Taylor vs. Amanda Serrano, a legitimate bout between two skilled fighters fighting for real stakes. It’s a rematch, it’s for the undisputed lightweight title, and it’s worth every second. Not that most people watching Paul vs. Tyson will appreciate that. If you’re looking for some real boxing action, check this one out before the “main event” begins.

Then there’s Mario Barrios vs. Abel Ramos, fighting for the WBC welterweight title. A real boxing fan’s appetizer to the main course of ridiculousness. This fight has actual stakes and talented fighters trying to win—not just survive eight rounds of boxing theater.

How to Watch the Chaos Unfold

The best part? This whole ordeal is being streamed on Netflix. Yes, you read that right. Now, Netflix viewers can jump straight from their cozy true crime documentary binge into this chaotic pay-per-view circus. The card starts at 8 p.m. ET, but the main event’s at 11 p.m. ET, so you have time to grab snacks and let the anticipation for what’s essentially high-stakes performance art build.

Predictions: Will Tyson Obliterate Paul, or Will Paul Survive?

So, who wins? If you’re betting on skill, nostalgia, and general goodwill, you’re rooting for Tyson to deliver at least one knockout blow that’ll go viral for weeks. If you’re betting on strategic cowardice, Paul might just be your guy. He’s betting that youth, some fancy footwork, and plenty of running can keep him out of Tyson’s power zone long enough to last eight rounds.

The real winners here, though? The fans, for pure entertainment value. We get to see Jake Paul put his pride (and possibly his teeth) on the line against one of boxing’s all-time legends. It’s part sport, part spectacle, and 100% unforgettable TV—because sometimes, boxing is about more than championships or glory. Sometimes, it’s about watching a loudmouth gamble with fate against a true icon.

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Final Thoughts: Just Sit Back and Enjoy the Ridiculousness

Tonight’s main event is a wild concoction of everything wrong and right with modern entertainment. Will it live up to the hype? Who cares? Just grab your popcorn, tune in, and let’s watch Tyson teach Paul a thing or two about humility (if we’re lucky) or laugh at the sheer spectacle of Jake Paul thinking he can outlast Iron Mike. Either way, this is the night’s best trash entertainment—Hot Garbage style.