Try telling me Summer’s not over. I’m averaging a pumpkin spice cold brew per day, turning off my A/C unit, and getting cards for my half-birthday in the mail; three signs of Fall. But the biggest neon, blinking gesticulation of Fall is that I will be sitting on my couch this Sunday absorbing NFL football through every pore of my body. 

After a strong week one (aside from the snoozer of a 4 pm slate like I warned you about), I’m hoping the momentum can spill over into this Sunday. We’re starting to get some divisional bouts on the schedule, and we’re learning more and more about who’s good, and who is completely trash.

If you like my picks, lock them in with the widgets below!

New Orleans Saints @ Dallas Cowboys (-6), O/U 46.5

Are the Saints good, or did they just play the Panthers?

I was thoroughly impressed with what the Cowboys put on the field last Sunday. They look like they haven’t missed a step since the last regular season. The Saints are still a team that could land in the top five of the draft order by the end of the season, even if they look mighty pretty after playing the Panthers.

Pick: Cowboys -6

Las Vegas Raiders @ Baltimore Ravens (-8.5), O.U 41.5

This Ravens team looks a lot like the one from last year. The offense is still dynamic and loaded with explosive playmakers. But, last year they also lost to Gardner Minshew at home early in the season. They sleep-walked through that game, and the talented Raiders D-Line can catch Lamar Jackson snoozing.

Pick: Raiders +8.5

New York Giants @ Washington Commanders (-2), O/U 43.5

I believe we’re going to get to the end of the season and think the Minnesota Vikings have both a top-10 offensive line and defense as a whole.

The Giants ran into a very good team in week one, and I’m expecting Coach Daboll to be able to scheme up a play to beat potentially the worst defense in the league in Washington. 

Pick: Giants Moneyline

San Francisco 49ers (-5) @ Minnesota Vikings, O/U 46.5

I believe we’re going to get to the end of the season, and think the Minneso… you get it. I think the defense can give Jordan Mason and this rushing attack more fits than the Jets were able to in week one.

If Minnesota can limit a few of San Francisco’s chunk plays and keep them on the ground, they’ll be able to shorten the game and keep it close.

Pick: Vikings (+5, look for a 6)

Cleveland Browns @ Jacksonville Jaguars (-3), O/U 41.5

I think the Jaguars are a good team. Their offense has a chance to click and become a top unit in the NFL. However, this Cleveland Browns team likes to pull one over on people the second they give you a clear and obvious reason to doubt them.

The Browns defense will make the Jaguars do Jaguars things and lose the game. 

Pick: Browns Moneyline

Los Angeles Chargers (-5.5) @ Carolina Panthers, O/U 39

This Chargers line got completely Harbaughed. The Chargers still played a competitive game to the fourth quarter against a bad Raiders team that fired off a surrender punt at the end of the game.

But I am never going to tell you to bet on the Carolina Panthers. They are seven levels of moulton lava hot garbage.

Pick: Not the Panthers (wink)

Indianapolis Colts (-2.5) @ Green Bay Packers, O/U 40.5

I will not take Malik Willis to win a game. I will not take Malik Willis to win a game. Let me say that again. I will not take Malik Willis to win a game.

But he’s great if you need someone to keep the score down.

Pick: Under 40.5 Total Points

Seattle Seahawks (-3.5) @ New England Patriots, O/U 38.5

I know the Seahawks kept it close for a while against a not-so-great Denver Broncos team, but this Mike MacDonald defense came on late in the game. I think they’re just getting their legs underneath them. 

I don’t know if the score is 13-10 or 35-10, I just know the Patriots have 10.

Pick: New England Patriots Team Total Under 16.5

New York Jets (-4) @ Tennessee Titans, O/U 41.5

This game stinks of a game no one will ever remember happened in three weeks. Both of these teams are going to roll out a slow-moving downtrodden offense against an elite defensive front on the other side.

I couldn’t tell you who wins the game, but the Titans probably fall within the number no matter what.

Pick: Titans +4

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Detroit Lions (-7.5), O/U 51.5

It feels like every week people forget the Bucs have a first overall pick at quarterback throwing the ball to a hall of famer behind a solid offensive line. This offense is going to be able to functionally operate against a majority of this league’s defenses.

This one is going to turn into a track meet, but not a blowout. 

Pick: Buccaneers +7.5

Los Angeles Rams @ Arizona Cardinals (-1), O/U 47.5

Speaking of track meets the Arizona Cardinals. They have a top-10 offense and a bottom-two defense. And if you have a capable offense at all, you’re going to put up points against the Cardinals.

Sean McVay, Matt Stafford, and Cooper Kupp give white boy summer one more weekend.

Pick: Rams Moneyline, Over 47.5 Total Points

Pittsburgh Steelers (-2.5) @ Denver Broncos, O/U 36.5

I couldn’t believe how fast Bo Nix looked on the ground last week. And I think Sean Payton can feed him one or two reads, and if they’re not open, then Nix can get some yards with his legs. They’ll be able to dink and dunk around T. J. Watt to keep him out of the game.

The Steelers will need someone to step up with Pat Surtain II’s blanket coverage on George Pickens, and they won’t. 

Pick: Broncos Moneyline

Cincinnati Bengals @ Kansas City Chiefs (-5.5), O/U 48

When the NFL schedule makers put this down, they thought it would be the headline of the 4 pm slot. But don’t expect fireworks in this one.

Kansas City’s elite offense will grab a lead early and sit on it by running the ball as much as they want on Cincinnati’s bottom-of-the-league putrid, stinky, garbage run defense. 

Pick: Under 48 Points

And remember, if you like any of my picks, lock them in with the Tallysight widgets below each section. Enjoy this beautiful game this weekend.