NFL week 3 is already upon us and it’s desperation time for several 0-2 squads if they want any prayer at a playoff spot. I’m sure you’ve seen the stats, but since 1990 under 3% of teams starting 0-3 have made the playoffs. Granted, we have an extra playoff spot now, but nonetheless I’m backing some of these desperate teams to come out with their hair on fire and at least cover the spread. I’ll sprinkle some money line bets on teams like the Giants and Panthers because I’m a real sick-o, but the following 5 lines are the stinkiest lines I see heading into week 3. I may be backing 5 teams on the road, some of which should probably be relegated if we implemented an EPL system in the NFL. What could go wrong!

NY Giants @ Cleveland Browns

Daniel Jones. On the road. Browns defense. At home. We can’t even get a touchdown here? THIS LINE STINKS? Why in the world would we back a team that is inventing new ways to lose (see last week NYG vs WAS)? There are two key factors here. The Giants SHOULD be desperate starting 0-2, and if they have not given up on their head coach, they are going to need to fight for him on the field if they want him to keep his job. Secondly, I know Deshaun Watson looked a bit better last week, but I’m banking on the Browns QB to make enough mistakes to keep the G-Men in this game. The Browns seem a bit banged up on the O-line as well. I hate this so much but give me the Giants and pray the Browns offense makes some dumb mistakes.

Houston Texans @ Minnesota Vikings

65% of the bets on the Texans, 70% of the money on the Vikings. This line has moved from 3.5 all the way down to 2. It seems like the pros are all over the Vikings, but are we really banking on Sam Darnold? I think he’s very serviceable but the Texans just need to cover a field goal? The public will be all over the Texans. Well, guess what? I’m ON THE TEXANS. Brian Flores has done a great job with the Vikings defense but I’m not buying the Vikings after 2 weeks. Coming into the season everyone thought the Vikings would be battling for the #1 draft pick while the Texans would be a championship contender. I know I’m on the wrong side of this right now, but I don’t care. GIVE ME THE TEXANS -2.

Denver Broncos @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Oh man. The only thing stinkier than this line MAY be Bo Nix. I may be on an island here, but I’m not ready to fully write him off yet. I trust Sean Payton to do enough here to keep this game under a touchdown. According to action networks favorites podcast, this is a huge luck rankings game. The teams in Denver’s spot covers 64% of the time. The Bucs are banged up on defense and coming off of a huge (somewhat lucky) win vs what we think is a good Lions team. The luck rankings currently have the Bucs as the luckiest, and Broncos as the 2nd most unlucky team heading into week 3. These rookie QB’s have not looked good, and this spread should be over a touchdown, but I’m selling the Bucs and trusting an ugly number. It’s GROSS but give me Denver +6.5. I recommend waiting this out as long as possible and hoping you catch a +7, maybe even +7.5.

Carolina Panthers @ Las Vegas Raiders

Full disclosure here, I won a lot of money last year not listening to the experts and not backing the Panthers. They could have been 20 point dogs with Bryce Young and I wasn’t taking them. Just could not do it. With that being said, Andy Dalton should be able to game manage and dish the ball to some of their “weapons” (lol). The Carolina defense stinks but I think Antonio Pierce wants to play gritty and ugly. The Vegas D-line is scary, but I’m banking on a QB change and a desperate team to come out and play hard before fully giving up on the season. I can’t believe I’m doing it, but give me the Panthers +5.

Miami Dolphins @ Seattle Seahawks

This line has moved a lot. The Seahawks have beaten two bad teams and I’m not sold. Skylar Thompson +4.5 in a tough place to play? Does that make sense? I have no idea but I don’t trust the Seahawks, especially after going to OT vs the Patriots. Thompson has at least started some NFL games and the Dolphins have the weapons and firepower to still put up points if we trust Mike McDaniel to scheme up some creative ways to get the ball to the Dolphins playmakers. Dolphins getting embarrassed on National TV, losing their starting QB who they just paid, and going across the country to lost by only 4.5 points? I love it. Give me the Dolphins +4.5 and Seattle doing what they do, probably kicking a last minute field goal to win the game.

Good luck to everyone all week, whether you’re taking these uncomfortable spots or completely fading me!