So, you’ve decided to try your hand at betting on college basketball. You know, because watching unpaid teenagers run around a court while your money hangs in the balance wasn’t stressful enough already. But don’t worry—I’m here to guide you through the madness with seven betting strategies that might just help you survive the season. Spoiler: You’ll still probably lose, but at least you’ll go down swinging.

1. Bet on the Favorites—Until They Inevitably Choke

Let’s start with the obvious: betting on the favorites. Sure, it’s boring, and sure, everyone else is doing it, but who doesn’t love a safe bet? Here’s the problem—college basketball is unpredictable, and favorites choke more often than a cat trying to swallow a hairball.

Remember, these are college kids we’re talking about. The pressure of being a favorite can get to them, leading to epic collapses that will make you wonder why you didn’t just bet on the underdog to begin with. But hey, if you’re into playing it safe and watching your money evaporate slowly, betting on the favorites is the way to go.

2. Ride the Hot Hand—Until It Freezes

Every season, there’s that one team that catches fire at the right time, going on a win streak that makes them the darling of bettors everywhere. Betting on the hot hand is like trying to catch a wave—you just hope it doesn’t crash before you cash in.

The trick is getting off the ride before it crashes and burns. That’s easier said than done because once a team starts winning, it’s easy to believe they’ll never stop. But trust me, they will. And it’ll probably be right after you put your money on them to keep the streak alive. The key is to quit while you’re ahead—if you can bring yourself to do it.

3. Bet Against the Public—Because Herd Mentality is for Losers

One of the more popular strategies among “sharps” (aka people who pretend they’re smarter than everyone else) is betting against the public. The idea is that the majority of people are idiots, and if you bet the opposite of what they’re doing, you’ll come out on top.

This strategy can work, especially in games where the public is overwhelmingly backing one team. But let’s be real—betting against the public means you’re betting against human nature, and that’s a tricky game. Sure, you might win big when the public gets it wrong, but you’ll also find yourself in some lonely territory, questioning why you didn’t just follow the herd.

4. Pay Attention to Home Court Advantage—Because College Kids are Easily Influenced

College basketball teams tend to play better at home. Shocking, right? But before you go all-in on every home team, remember that home-court advantage isn’t a magic bullet. It’s more like a suggestion that these kids might not completely screw up in front of their friends and family.

Crowds can be a factor, sure, but so can the pressure of performing well at home. Some teams thrive under the spotlight, while others crumble faster than your hopes of a big payout. So, use home-court advantage as a factor in your bets, but don’t let it be the only thing you consider—unless you enjoy living on the edge.

5. Watch Out for Trap Games—Because Nothing is Ever Easy

Trap games are those seemingly easy matchups where a heavily favored team faces a weaker opponent, only to get blindsided by an upset. These games are called “traps” for a reason—they lure you in with the promise of easy money and then slam the door on your fingers.

The key to avoiding trap games is to recognize when a team might be looking ahead to a bigger matchup or simply underestimating their opponent. If a game looks too good to be true, it probably is. So, unless you enjoy getting caught in traps, approach these games with caution—and maybe a healthy dose of skepticism.

6. Bet on the Under in Rivalry Games—Because Defense Matters

Rivalry games in college basketball are intense, emotional, and often downright ugly. When two teams that hate each other face off, you can usually expect a hard-fought battle with lots of defense and not a lot of scoring.

That’s why betting the under in rivalry games can be a smart move. Sure, it’s not as exciting as betting the over and rooting for points, but who cares about excitement when you’re trying to win money? Rivalry games are often tighter and lower-scoring than you’d expect, so take advantage of the tension and bet on a defensive struggle.

7. Don’t Bet on March Madness—Unless You’re a Glutton for Punishment

March Madness is the ultimate test of your betting strategies, patience, and sanity. It’s called “Madness” for a reason—anything can and will happen. Cinderella teams will bust your bracket, buzzer-beaters will break your heart, and you’ll find yourself rooting for schools you’ve never even heard of.

The best strategy for betting on March Madness? Don’t. Or, if you must, keep your bets small and your expectations even smaller. The tournament is unpredictable, chaotic, and designed to make you question why you ever thought you could outsmart the sports gods. But if you’re the type who enjoys the thrill of watching your money go up in flames, by all means, dive right in.

Conclusion: College Basketball Betting—A Rollercoaster You Didn’t Ask For

In the end, betting on college basketball is a rollercoaster of emotions, strategy, and occasional despair. Whether you’re betting on the favorites, riding the hot hand, or trying to avoid trap games, one thing is certain—you’re in for a wild ride. So buckle up, place your bets, and get ready to hate March Madness even more than you already do. After all, what’s the point of betting if it doesn’t make you question your life choices?