In the grand tapestry of video gaming, Non-Playable Characters (NPCs) often serve as the backdrop to our heroic adventures. They give us quests, sell us items, and occasionally spout off some hilariously nonsensical dialogue. But here’s a hot take: Sometimes, NPCs are smarter than some of my real-life friends. If you think that’s harsh, stick around. I promise, by the end, you might just agree with me.

1. NPCs Follow Instructions

First off, NPCs actually listen to you. You tell them to stay put, they stay put. You need them to follow you into battle? They’re right there by your side, no questions asked. Try getting your friends to follow simple instructions. “Meet me at the park at 3 PM” somehow turns into a chaotic game of telephone, with everyone showing up at different times, if they show up at all. NPCs don’t have excuses; they just do what they’re told.

2. NPCs Don’t Complain (Much)

Let’s be real, NPCs have it rough. They’re stuck in their programmed loops, often living the same day over and over. But do they complain? Hardly ever. Meanwhile, my friends complain about everything. The weather, their job, their relationship status—nothing is off-limits. An NPC might occasionally grumble about being hungry or needing sleep, but they don’t whine endlessly about the existential dread of their existence.

3. NPCs Are Always Ready to Help

Need a healing potion at 2 AM? The NPC shopkeeper has got you covered. Looking for someone to join your ragtag group of adventurers? There’s always an NPC eager to help. Friends, on the other hand, are a mixed bag. Some are reliable, sure, but others vanish like a mirage when you need them most. NPCs have a built-in loyalty that some humans could really learn from.

4. NPCs Have Better Time Management

NPCs have impeccable timing. They follow their daily routines to the letter, whether it’s opening their shop at dawn or patrolling the same stretch of road every night. Friends? Not so much. Making plans with friends is like herding cats. Someone’s always late, someone cancels last minute, and someone “forgets” the plans entirely. NPCs might be predictable, but at least they’re reliable.

5. NPCs Don’t Get Offended Easily

I’ve insulted NPCs in every way imaginable. I’ve ignored their quests, stolen their belongings, and sometimes even attacked them (sorry, Skyrim guards). Yet, they never hold a grudge. They reset, ready to help as if nothing happened. Friends, however, can be touchy. One wrong word, and you’re navigating a minefield of hurt feelings and passive-aggressive comments. NPCs let things slide, a trait more humans should adopt.

6. NPCs Are Masters of Trivia

NPCs are walking encyclopedias of their game worlds. They know the lore, the history, and all the juicy gossip. They might repeat themselves, but at least they’re consistent. Friends, on the other hand, are unreliable narrators. Ask them for directions, and you’re more likely to end up lost. Quiz them on trivia, and you’ll get a lot of “um” and “I think” before they give up and Google it.

7. NPCs Don’t Flake

Ever had plans with a friend who cancels last minute? Annoying, right? NPCs never flake. They’re always in their designated spots, ready to interact. They don’t suddenly decide they’re too tired or that they’d rather stay in and watch Netflix. They’re dependable in a way that’s both comforting and, admittedly, a little sad when you think about it.

8. NPCs Provide Endless Entertainment

Whether it’s their bizarre one-liners or their quirky behavior, NPCs are endlessly entertaining. Friends can be fun, sure, but they don’t come with pre-scripted lines designed to amuse you. NPCs are a constant source of laughter and surprise, especially when their programming goes awry in hilarious ways.

9. NPCs Are Non-Judgmental

NPCs don’t judge you. You can show up in the most ridiculous outfit, make the most absurd choices, and they’ll still treat you the same. Friends, on the other hand, have opinions. Lots of them. They’ll judge your fashion sense, your life choices, and even your taste in video games. NPCs take you as you are, no questions asked.

10. NPCs Have Simple Lives

NPCs have it figured out. Their lives are simple, and they’re content with that. Wake up, go to work, give the hero a quest, repeat. There’s something almost zen about their existence. Friends, however, are always chasing something—money, success, happiness—and often end up stressed and unhappy. Maybe we could all learn a thing or two from NPCs about living a simpler, more content life.

So, next time you’re feeling frustrated with your friends, just remember: There’s a whole virtual world of NPCs who’ve got their act together. They may be simple lines of code, but they’re often more reliable, entertaining, and understanding than some of the real people in our lives. Here’s to the NPCs—the unsung heroes of our gaming adventures.