Thanksgiving is about three things: overeating, avoiding family drama, and pretending you’re excited for your aunt’s signature gelatin salad. But what about the soundtrack? The right music can elevate your dinner to a Norman Rockwell painting come to life, while the wrong playlist can turn your holiday into a trainwreck faster than Uncle Larry’s fifth political rant. Here’s a snarky guide to the best and worst songs to play during Thanksgiving dinner—and how to avoid turning your holiday into a complete circus.

The Best Songs to Play During Thanksgiving Dinner

1. “Home” by Phillip Phillips

This song is the ultimate “safe choice.” It’s folky, inoffensive, and the musical equivalent of a warm hug. If your family loves Hallmark movies and insists on going around the table to say what they’re thankful for, this is your jam. It says, “We’re wholesome, but not too wholesome.”

2. “Harvest Moon” by Neil Young

This one feels like autumn in a bottle. With its gentle rhythm and wistful lyrics, it sets a mood that says, “We’re all pretending not to notice that the turkey is dry.” Bonus: it’s perfect for making your hipster cousin feel seen.

3. “Celebration” by Kool & The Gang

Look, Thanksgiving is basically a glorified excuse to overeat, so why not lean into it? This funky anthem is a great way to kick off dinner or signal that it’s time to unbutton your pants and go for round two. Just don’t let Grandpa attempt the robot.

4. “Autumn Leaves” by Nat King Cole

This is for the classy Thanksgiving tables—the ones with real napkins and actual centerpieces instead of leftover Halloween candy. Nat King Cole’s silky voice will make even your awkward small talk with your in-laws feel elegant. Plus, it’s slow enough to keep people from inhaling their food like savages.

5. “Sweet Potato Pie” by James Taylor and Ray Charles

A song about pie sung by two legends? Yes, please. It’s soulful, joyful, and just on-the-nose enough to make everyone at the table chuckle. If you’re not playing this, are you even doing Thanksgiving right?

6. “Shining Star” by Earth, Wind & Fire

Because every Thanksgiving needs at least one song that makes people bob their heads while passing the gravy. It’s funky, fun, and the perfect antidote to a post-dinner food coma. Warning: may lead to impromptu dance moves by that one relative who can’t resist.

7. “Sunday Morning” by Maroon 5

This is background music done right. Chill enough not to overpower the conversation, but catchy enough to keep things lively. It says, “We’re cool and modern, but we’re still here for the pie.”

8. “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong

Thanksgiving is about gratitude (or so the Hallmark cards claim), and this classic hits all the right notes. It’s heartfelt, timeless, and perfectly sets the mood for that one overly emotional toast someone inevitably gives. Play it when people are too stuffed to argue.

9. “November Rain” by Guns N’ Roses

Okay, it’s dramatic, but hear me out. If your Thanksgiving needs a bit of flair, this power ballad is the perfect backdrop for carving the turkey with all the gravitas of a knighted chef. Plus, it’s hilarious if you time it with someone dropping the cranberry sauce.

10. “Uptown Funk” by Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars

Once dessert rolls around, it’s time to liven things up. This song is a guaranteed crowd-pleaser, and watching your relatives attempt to groove to it is better entertainment than the football game.

The Worst Songs to Play During Thanksgiving Dinner

1. “All I Want for Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey

It’s a holiday classic, but playing it at Thanksgiving is like skipping appetizers and going straight for dessert. Calm down, Mariah—it’s not your time yet. Save it for December, when we’re emotionally prepared.

2. “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong

If someone suggests this, they’re clearly an agent of chaos. Nothing says “family bonding” like a roomful of people desperately trying not to scream while small children gleefully demand the 18th replay.

3. “Lose Yourself” by Eminem

Great for hyping yourself up for a big moment, terrible for turkey time. The last thing anyone needs while passing the stuffing is Eminem screaming, “You only get one shot!” Stress levels are already high enough, thanks.

4. “Macarena” by Los del Río

Playing this song at Thanksgiving should be grounds for exile. It’s catchy, sure, but do you really want to deal with everyone attempting the dance moves in a room full of fragile wine glasses and gravy boats?

5. “Achy Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus

Thanksgiving doesn’t need heartbreak. It’s already emotionally exhausting without adding twangy, mulleted misery to the mix. Leave this one in the early ’90s where it belongs.

6. “Hotline Bling” by Drake

Drake is great for a party, but Thanksgiving is not the time to reminisce about your awkward texting history. Play this, and suddenly half the table is thinking about their ex instead of the cranberry sauce.

7. “It’s the End of the World as We Know It” by R.E.M.

We’ve all had bad Thanksgivings, but there’s no need to hammer the point home with an apocalyptic anthem. Unless your turkey actually bursts into flames, maybe skip this one.

8. “Hollaback Girl” by Gwen Stefani

Thanksgiving is about gratitude and family, not bananas. No one needs Grandma asking what a hollaback girl is while you’re trying to carve the turkey.

9. “The Chicken Dance”

Thanksgiving is already chaotic—do you really want to add flapping arms and repetitive polka music to the mix? Hard pass.

10. “Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cyrus

This isn’t Thanksgiving dinner; it’s not an emotional breakup scene. Unless someone literally demolished the mashed potatoes with a ladle, keep this off your playlist.

Crafting the Ultimate Thanksgiving Playlist

Thanksgiving music should strike the perfect balance: warm, lighthearted, and easy on the ears. It’s not about making a statement; it’s about creating a cozy, welcoming vibe that keeps everyone smiling—at least until someone brings up politics. Stick with classics, sprinkle in a few modern hits, and for the love of pie, keep “Baby Shark” off the table.

Because let’s face it: even the driest turkey is more tolerable than a bad Thanksgiving soundtrack. Choose wisely, and your playlist might just be the MVP of the holiday.